If you’re going to try,go all the way.Otherwise,don’t even start.If you’re going to try,go all the way.This could mean losing girlfriends,wives,relatives,jobs and maybe your mind.Go all the way.It could mean not eating for three or four days.It could mean freezing on a park beach.It could mean jail.It could mean derision.mockery,isolation.Isolation is the gift.All the others are a test of your endurance,of how much you really want to do it.And,you’ll do it,despite rejection and the worst odds.And it will be better than anything else you can imagine.If you’re going to try,go all the way.There is no other feeling like that.

Mama pulled me with one hand and a luggage with another hand left the home i have lived in for five years when her was 25 years old.three month later, my dad got married and gave birth to a boy. it is noly one street away from my grandma’s home to dad’s home, but he never come to see me again.i aways ask my mother: is my dad doesn’t want us anymore?mama touched my head, with tears in her eyes to say: you have no father, only mother. I could see the hate in my mother’s eyes, but i don’t how to help her I used to hate my dad as well, for example, i met him on the road and call him, but he ignore me.i went his home to ask living expenses, but his wife kicked me out of house and say: don’t blame your father for not giving you money, i give you once, your monther will make you come here everyday. you should blame your mother, at the time of the divorce she said she want to nothing .As I grow up day by day, i am not hate my dad like before, maybe cause this thing:his sun,my little bother had leukemia when he two years old. spent all their savings, even went to Shanghai hospital, but still did cure. finally died.at that time, everybody scold him in my town, said he is the retribution.his wife always walked around on the street with barefoot and kept calling her son’s name.at that time, i seems don’t hate my dad anymore.

when i was 7 years old, i saw my mom with a luggage got on a bus, i asked:”where are we going?”mom give me a kiss and say, you don’t go with me, you stay at home with your grandma and listen to her, i will go out to do something and will be back soon. after then, my mom went away by bus, but didn’t come back for a long time.i miss my mom very much and can’t bear it. i asked my grandpa: when exactly my mom back ?grandpa didn’t say anything, just pick me up with tears in the eyes to say, don’t miss your mom, let me buy some snacks to youthat day, grandpa really bought me a lot of delicious food.after that, i don’t see my mom in many years, just every new year i can get a package from my mom, there are a lot of new clothes and toys in it.year by year passed, i felt like my mom wasn’t coming back anymore, but i hate others say this.one day, one boy in my class, tell everybody i have neither father nor mother, i am very angry, i rushed over and had a fight with him, and scratched his face, and shouted to everybody, I’ll hit whoever says I don’t have a mother teacher asked me call my parents, grandpa feel too ashamed to go, my grandma took a big bag of canned fruit went to school with me.teacher ask me say apologize to that boy, i refused, grandma hit me at school for first time, i cried to my grandma, please tell them i have mother, just not at home. .my grandma cried as well, she ignored teache and bring me go homeon the way i asked my grandma: is it really my mam don’t want me anymore?grandma wiped my tears and say, don’t nonsense, your mother just go out to earn money. your mother should feed the whole family. later, i stop crying. but my grandma cried all the way, your grandpa is sick and can’t go to work, and your small aunt and you are going to school. don’t come back is because we are too poor, not don’t want to come back, not don’t miss you.

one day, i just back home form school, saw a few people carrying my grandpa into house, grandpa’s face is very pale, i ask to my grandma: what’s wrong with grandpa?grandma didn’t say anything just shed tears. don’t worry, i just sick. grandpa said to me.i whispered to grandma why don’t send grandpa to hospital ?grandma sighed and said, already sent , but doctor said it’s too late, continue to cure is wast money.grandpa can only lie in bed everyday, and eat some porridge. and has been low moaning at night.i don’t know what ill my granda get. but i noticed that my grandma always went to his , and took the spitton with blood pour into toilet. grandpa became weaker and weaker day by day , finally he don’t have the strength to speak.my mama finally back. but it’s too late to see my grandpa. grandpa died before the day mama back.my mam and i standing downstairs, looking at the white hearse run away far and far, mama was chasing while crying.and keep shouting “dad, my dad”i looked at mom’s back, seem heard my grandpa was calling me. i tell to my mam, grandpa doesn’t gone, just now he was calling me, please stop shouting him, he really doesn’t gone.after we went to upstairs, my mam locked herself in toilet, and all i could hear was a tearing cry and bang bang sound.grandma stood outside of the toilet door, pounding one the door, ask my mother out.my mam finally come out but the face is all of blood. grandma ask her go to hospital she refused. ask me to pull her, but i no dare.i don’t know why, maybe due to so many years doesn’t see my mom, so that very strange each other, i really no dare to pull her.after my grandpa’s death day over, my mam left again, she didn’t say anthing to me this time,she just give my grandma all the money she had.

when i was sixteen, i left home to go to high school in the city. i can only back home once a week.my aunt is back. dressed very fasion. always blind date, she said she is tired, she want marry to someone as soon as possible. aunt seldom speak since she come back, and never mention her outside experience . but i could always see her body with many old scars when she changed clothes.i don’t want ask her experience and no dare to ask as well, only remember that she told me there is no anywhere better than home when i was nineteen , i admitted to a college far away from my home, and could only go back home once every half year. my mom come back completely and never left anymore, i saw my mom several times when i go back home. finally, my aunt got married. on the wedding day, my aunt has been kowtowing to my grandma, she is crying while kowtowing.mom want pull her up but couldn’t , she told my mom, she was sorry for grandma and grandpa, when grandpa died she didn’t even know. she wouldn’t go anywhere in the furture, only keep home to take care grandma. mom said me too.

We have to sacrifice something for the purpose of getting something better. We learn from both aging and experiencing. It if fair we are granted 24 hours everyday, while we perform differently from each other. It lies in the efficiency and perseverance. Besides we have to be sure what kind of a lifestyle we want to lead. In the process of approaching to the destination, generally, we are doomed to be accompanied with nobody. The longer the journey we cover, the fewer people we are liekly to talk with. We train to be sustainable and firm and persistent. We get to be wiser by thinking and judging personally. We are on the way to cope with uncertainties and get through difficulties.Not always we are going smoothly. Actually we are on a boat floating as waves move and ripple around. We realize it is common to accept the truth of uncetainties and ups and downs. Only can we do is to treat it peacefully as in a close friend. Though it has something we are not satisfied with, we never easily let a relationship go. We get to be mature by taking responsibility and acknowledging everything which once had done us a favour.After swallowing bitterness of life, we come to know the importance of happiness. By overcoming a myriad of troubles, we never feel timid, instead, we are brave enough to dispose of everything.

the year when i was twenty-one years old, i left china, went to another country, it’s too expensive for me to get home, i even have no extra money to go home.mom always say there is no money at home in the call. and say grandma very miss me, want me back to take a look. i study at school in the day, and work at night. i really want earn much more money to go home to see my grandma, but considered of my family need more money, i have to save the transportation fees and totally sent back home. i gradually understand my mom, understand why my mom didn’t go home, and aslo understand my mom is not miss home, not miss me.when i was twenty-four, i finally save much money , bring the money back home . everybody are very happy in my family. we cooked a big talbe of food and drink wine together.i was drank on that day, i take a lot of money to my grandma and say, i have the ability to raise the family .grandma seems drank as well, i don’t know she is laugh or cry, she said, the whole family owes you.i was drinking while laughing and shaking my head, in the meantime, i want say something, but i can’t pronounce any words. i never think who owes me, i just think i owe this family too much. i didn’t live at home too many days. even i didn’t say something to everyone. just like my mom did before several years.when i was twenty-five, i got married in a forigen country, i didn’t go back. send all saved money to my mother.after that , i had baby, for hard work, i send my daughter to my mother-in-law.. and have been sending money to my grandma regularly. grandma told me don’t send money home anymore, the life is much better than before. heard grandma said, i don’t should happy or lost. i said to my husband , i should happy, right? because i finally can be struggle for myself. at the age of thirty. i finally bought house in forigen country. i show grandma via wechat. and ask her come to me to stay for a while.one day, i told grandma through video, i will prepare a little bit. and pick up you and mother come over next year, it that ok?grandma just laugh, she is just keping laugh like a child.she laughed for a while and say, i am too old, i really want to take a look, but it is really far away.i am too tired to go. i am very happy that you live big house. let your monther to take a look is enough.mom took a breath and say, seeing you are well. i am very happy. your grandma’s leg is not good. she even can’t get off bed, i have to take care of her at home.we don’t want borther you too much.i hung up the phone after heard mom said. i don’t want they see my crying face.i lying on the bed in my horse, and seeing the outside view through French windows, suddenly felt like that the house had been bought for nothing.

after that, when i video with my grandma, she always smile, and rarely talk, even she spoke, she were very lound.i asked mom, what’s wrong with my grandma.mom said, grandma too old to hear clearly.i immediately bought a ticket and flew back to see grandma. just like when i was a child, i still slept at grandma’s feet.it seems her leg didn’t move any a little in the whole night. i hold her feet and cried all night.before i lelt i give grandma two thousand RMB, and then went to my mother-in-law to take a look my daughter. daughter asked me, doesn’t you love me? why don’t you come back often. i endure tears and say, i am not doesn’t love you, but is that too far away from here, i cant’ always come back. but i swear i will come back soon to see you, ok?ok, mom, i am waiting for you . bye,bye.i got on the plane and took off coat, it was very heavy. I looked through it carefully. There was a white handkerchief in my inner pocket. When I opened it, it contained twenty thousand RMB.

Under the influence of typhoon, from yesterday evening, it started to rain. Now it just passes by and the rain is letting up. Coming with the rain, the gale is another reason that people choose to stay indoors. Currently, according to the report, more than 4 million people are suffered from this disaster. Every year, there are several rounds of typhoon. Those coastal residents always face the threat, and they get used to it since they were born in that land. The palce will be destoryed badly if it was hit directly from the sea. After hours, it goes to the inland and meanwhile it reduces its froce of wind, but it is still destructive.Here it is not that bad, expcet for the heavy rain, almost everything is okay. Tomorrow it will be sunny again and it cools off because of the rain for the time being. Delayed flights and trains will soon be in order. The post-disaster reconstruction will carry out.

after that, i made a mistake, one day, i went to a market. stole a cabbage and carried it home.my grandpa got very angry and took out a rolling pin to beat me, that is the first time he hit me. after beating me , he ask me to kneel in front of bed and ask: why stole cabbage? do you want to be like your uncle to go to jail, right?speaking of my uncle, i begain to cry and say, i don’t want to be my uncle, just want support our family, just want my mom back earlier.at this time, my grandma rushed over and hugged me and speak to my grandpa, you beat her too hard, no ability to earn money.my grandpa threw the rolling pin and squating in the doorway to smoke, his face as dark as clouds wiht no any words.i was suddenly afraid that my grandpa would abandon me, i stood up and wiped tears for grandma and say, i will naver steal cabbage anymore, you must not let me leave.my grandma cried even worse, i will want you forever , as long as you study hard, when you grow up you must have the ability to earn money to support the family.later, my mam finally come back, she dressed very good-looking, red coat, permed a head of curly hair. but she doesn’t stay a few days and went away. before leaving, mother give me a hundred RMB, ask me to learn hard.i nod to her, but this time i didn’t ask her when will be back. because i know she don’t know even.this time i am not sad like before, seems already used to it.shortly afterwards, my grandpa went away too, feel like something missing in my family, really uncomfortable .grandma said grandpa’s illness is geting well, can go out to work, so that to reduce burden for my mother.there are only my grandma, aunt and i at home, right now.few year passed, aunt can’t able to go to college, she said she want to go to south to find my mother, grandma doesn’t allowed, but she stole my grandma’s money run away alone.my grandma was very worried and cried everyday that almost her eyes went blind. called my mom by through relative, tell her let aunt back if see her.no long after, my aunt really back. but she didn’t back home, but is meet me at the gate of school, ask me to steal grandma’s money,. i disagree and want drag her go home.but she refused me. she told me my mom’s live is not that good at there,she is going to GuangZhou with her classmate to make a lot money.i got back home and lied to my grandma that the school is going to have a event and need pay for it.i took the money and pick up two steamed stuffed bun run to the alley, give them to my aunt. she told me don’t tell grandma and run away with an old brother.after that i feel a little regret, but i no dare to tell my grandma, there are only grandma and i at home, i don’t want she worry about this.