My cell
phone rang.

I looked at that crazy little thing vibrating with excitement and with a
strange number flashing happily on the screen. I felt disoriented, kind of
overwhelming with both dread and anticipations and for a moment almost unable
to remember how a phone works.

I soon pulled myself together, picked up the phone, and whispered hello.

“Good morning, this is XX insurance company. I’m glad to inform you….”I hung up the phone. Another scam call and I should have known better.

But next time when my cell phone rang, I would still pick it up in
thrilled anticipation because it might be that call I’ve waited for so long. Days
stretch like an eternity in suspense.

The call from a dream school. I just wonder how many parents right now are
going through the same like me? Obviously, my husband is not one of them. “They
are igniting worries among parents like you, you know, typical supply-limited
strategy to hook you up. There will be a school for him eventually” Okay, the least
I need right now is another lecture on how terrible our education system is. It’s
even worse to have a calm, almost indifferent husband right now, because his composure
would make you look like a card-carrying hysteric mother, and your worries
about your son’s future kind of like a small, sad stone in your throat.

I know I wrote something about not make the worst assumption just like yesterday.
But if I leave everything to the hand of the fate, chances are my son might end
up in a school where girls would ask a stranger for cigarettes, and boys display
their tempers more than their talents. Just a thought of that sends terrified
chills racing down my spine and into my belly.

Deep breath and calm down.