I’m here bid farewell to myself of 2018. 2018 had seemed like a quiet year. It just skidded away without making a sound, without me aware of it. But it doesn’t mean it’s not an important year for me. Actually 2018 has been a crucial year. I also did a lot of thinking in 2018, about my work, my bitter marriage, and my future. In terms of my work, I finally officially re-joined the team in 2018. God I tried so hard to come back. Not that I loved it so much that I had to come back. It’s just the feeling that I didn’t belong to anywhere else. Well, all coins have two sides. The good side of this is that I got my career back on track, and the bad side of it is that the workload doubled, or even tripled, somehow. A full year has nearly gone. The last official working day was 29 December. Even on that day I was still trying my best to cope with the situation I was in. This is something that I never expected could happen. Well, face the fact. All I can do is to work harder and with a sincerer heart next year. Hopefully things will change a little bit next year. I hope I can feel better. In terms of love, well, I feel like I’ve lost all the strength to love. my heart now is like a lake with all its water drained up, the only thing left is a bare lake bed. I divorced my husband in mid-2017, and 2018 has been a year of rehabilitation. I hoped I could pick myself up and started to love again. I had a few one-off dates, but they never worked out. Maybe they weren’t the right one, or maybe I was the problem. I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m not exactly longing for another love story for now. I’ve kind of lost trust in all men. I’m so sure there are good men out there. I just need time and luck. I don’t extravagantly hope that I meet my Mr. Right in 2019. But I’ll try to be a better self, I need to make sure if he’s really there, I’m ready. 你若微笑，清风自来。In terms of my future. With my marriage dead, I can’t give myself a reason why I am still here in Shanghai. Even my big boss is curious why I stick to Shanghai all by myself. I think in early 2019, I will work out a solution as to where I’ll end up at. Shanghai is a nice city, but I feel that we don’t belong to each other. I’m just a passer-by, for the most part. Therefore, I think I will try to find a job back in my hometown so that I can stay with my parents who are growing very old. Maybe in my hometown, I can start to love again. Well, this is it. My dear 2018, thank you for being there with me. No matter how much I want you to stay, now it’s your time to go.

2019, I welcome you with all my heart. It won’t be a easy year, but I’ll try my best to be strong, be peaceful, smile all the time. You wait and see!