My breast
cancer entered the stage of four around 2 months ago, roughly the same time
that my son was going to start a new chapter of life: middle school.

The treatment
of breast cancer in China have been very systematic and successful. It’s
important for any patient to open your heart, to keep faith and have doctors
treating it know about your conditions.

It is the first
step of primary importance. For me personally it’s already one of my first
priority and one of the most important weapons to face with this war: let go of
my burdens, carry forward lightly and mostly importantly don’t let it ruin my life
completely. That’s why I still keep learning English. It makes me feel good.
Under such conditions, I can still make progress and better myself.

The tyranny
of this disease and the massive number of the patients is just an example of
how careless modern Chinese must have been towards our health. And ultimately
these terrifying numbers from health bureau will serve as a warning notice
today and will continue to do so for generations to come.

The
following is a message from the bottom of my heart to this crisis of my life:

To breast
cancer:

I hate you
for everything, the time that you force me to waste in hospital and the time
that you threaten to take away from me. For all the sufferings and pains you
have brought to my body. For making me look awful, shaving my head, putting on
my weight, and flecking my face with ugly spots. Because of your sinful smile
at the wrong time. That’s why I hate you.

And for
attacking me when I feel like I can’t go on any longer. For weighing me down
when I want to have a run. For destroying my memories, for hurting me in this cruel
way when nobody else does. That’s why I hate you.

Because
when you threaten to take away my life, you give me reasons and I have to fight
back. Because you have turned my life upside down, and you have given my eyes
the glasses to look at the world differently. Because with you by my side, I have
to be stronger and tougher. That’s why I hate you but I still thank you… And
for the infinite reasons that I discover every day.